Nov 15, 2010

Cheese/Where's My Slice?

this happened a few years ago
but I thought about it today...

I was working retail
for a major corporation.
I won't mention any names,
but it rhymes with CockBuster.
It was quite possibly
the worst job known to humankind.

that's being much too generous...
I'll just refer to it as
the "Blue and Gold Devil."

I'm sure you're thinking,
"Hey, movies! Cool! Right?"
Yeah, movies! Cool!
that part was awesome.
Dealing with the
dipshit dumbasses
that somehow manage
to eek out enough brain power
to drive themselves there...
different story.

As anyone who has worked
with the general public understands
some people are true winners.

Like this guy:

So I'm working at the video store
and we had just recently
raised the prices on a video game rental.
A "customoron" approaches
and sets a game on the counter.
I scan it and tell him the price.
He jumps back in aghast
(yeah, I threw an "aghast" in there
like old timey folk.),
flails his stubby limbs
and cries "What!?
Did the price go up or something?"

I reply,
"Yeah, they raised it about 50 cents."
He says,
"Well shouldn't they send me a letter
or have it posted in the newspaper
or something?"
I tell him, "Not as far as I know, sir."
to which he responds,
"Well why not, it's a free country isn't it?"


I am dumbfounded for a moment.
More than a moment.
How do you respond to such idiocy
without getting fired?
Eventually I said,
"Well it's your choice to rent the game or not."
He storms out the door saying
"Oh, I see, you're with THEM."

Apparently that extra 50 cents
was just too much for him.
I'm glad I no longer work retail.
Today's song is dedicated
to fucktards and assholes everywhere
who expect the world handed to them
on a shitty silver platter.

"It's been a long time
Now it's time to get your bubble burst
Things are bad enough in this world
Why do you have to make them worse?
Day after day, you just gotta get it

So sick and tired of your bitching and complaining
So long you've been oppressed while others lives are
Want reparations, you're needy and deserving
Can't understand why some are served while you're
doing the serving
Anything but responsibility

Where's my slice?
I want more than equal rights
I want everything for free!

You waste your time concerned with what others are
You want a revolution to start the tables turning
A demonstration to make a better nation
We'll spend the day protesting all the problems that
we're facing
Anything but face reality
Where's my slice...

Your brilliant theory
how the world owes you a living
You'll take away from others
the things they should be giving
They own the pie and you want your share
Whoever told you life was fair?
You were dealt your hand - now play it

Where's my slice..."

-"Cheese/Where's My Slice?" from Ribbed

RPR Link