Oct 16, 2010


I was driving around
the other day
and I came across
a homeless guy.
At least, I assumed
that he was homeless...
He was standing
in the street
with a sign
asking for money.

Let's just call him
"guy on the street"
for the time being.

So I feel bad for
people on the street
but I have a rule
that I never
give them money.

I tend to have
an abundance
of water bottles
in my car
at any given time.
(Perhaps I will explain
on another day.)

So this guy is standing
on the median
where I am sitting
at a red light
waiting to turn left.
He is right next
to my car
staring at me
doing his guilt trip thing
and it's working.

I lean over
and dig around
for a water bottle.
I can only find ones that
have been opened already.

Not wanting to tease
the poor guy,
I hand him
one of the bottles
with 3/4 of the water in it.

He reaches out for it,
but then he pauses
and says
"hey man,
I don't just take
I'm not homeless."


I guess I offended him.

Well, that's what he gets
for standing around
begging for money.

This song goes out
to all the
"people on the street."

I'm hobophobic, So what?
Scared of bums,
Not just because they stink bad
Not just because they're crackers
From drinking too much lysol

Let them be,
Just don't get fuckin' near me!
Scared of bums!

with microscopic bugs and
Endocrine systematic Doo Doo
Why don't they get a job?

Let them be,
Just don't get fuckin' near me!

-"Hobophobic" from Heavy Petting Zoo

Oct 10, 2010

Instant Crassic...

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.
Or something like that...

Well it's been about 10 months,
but I'm back!
I had expected to have
some 300 posts by now,
but shit happens.

I got caught up in some shenanigans
that prevented me from
reaching the blog-o-sphere.

Luckily I was able to escape...

I bet you didn't know
that I had such sick skills,

So let me catch you up
on everything that has happened
in the past 10 months-ish.

I graduated from college,
lost my job,
spent 3 weeks on unemployment,
got a new job w/o applying,
ok, that's a lie,
I applied back in February,
but they called me in September.

So technically,
I never had to search
for the 3 weeks
that I was unemployed.
Call it luck?
Call it karma?
(I put up with A LOT of bs
in my past 2 jobs.)
Either way,
for the first time
in a long time
I'm stoked.

I also know that
good things don't last.
So I'm going to enjoy this
while I can.

It's good to be back!

I'm swimming in a sea of pee
I'm hiking up a big mountain of poo
I feel like rolling in glass when I'm without you

I'm diving in a pool of puke
I'm fly fishing a stream of puss
That's how I feel when something separates us

I'm living in Bakersfield
I'm at a month long hip-hop festival
-"Instant Crassic" by NOFX

RPR Link