Instant Crassic...

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.

Or something like that...

Well it's been about 10 months,

but I'm back!

I had expected to have

some 300 posts by now,

but shit happens.

I got caught up in some shenanigans

that prevented me from

reaching the blog-o-sphere.

Luckily I was able to escape...

I bet you didn't know

that I had such sick skills,

huh?

So let me catch you up

on everything that has happened

in the past 10 months-ish.

I graduated from college,

lost my job,

spent 3 weeks on unemployment,

got a new job w/o applying,

ok, that's a lie,

I applied back in February,

but they called me in September.

So technically,

I never had to search

for the 3 weeks

that I was unemployed.

Call it luck?

Call it karma?

(I put up with A LOT of bs

in my past 2 jobs.)

Either way,

for the first time

in a long time

I'm stoked.

I also know that

good things don't last.

So I'm going to enjoy this

while I can.

It's good to be back!

I'm swimming in a sea of pee
I'm hiking up a big mountain of poo
I feel like rolling in glass when I'm without you

I'm diving in a pool of puke
I'm fly fishing a stream of puss
That's how I feel when something separates us

I'm living in Bakersfield
I'm at a month long hip-hop festival

-"Instant Crassic" by NOFX

Puke on Cops

Today was the first day of my last semester.

I'm stoked!

Was on my way to one of my classes.

Riding my skateboard through the parking lot.

A cop pulls up behind me and honks his shit at me.

You know, the thing that isn't the siren

but it isn't the horn either.

Tells me over his PA to walk my skateboard...

while I'm on campus

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?

What good is a skateboard

if it isn't moving my ass somewhere?

Also, I was in the middle of the parking lot!

If some preppy cardigan sweater wearing fuck face

can ride his bike to class

why the fuck can't I ride a skateboard?

I felt discriminated...

I turned around and showed that cop

what I was hiding...

MY MIDDLE FINGER!

as I said,

"Kiss my ass, pork chop!"

I took off on my board as they pursued.

I was able to ditch the squad-car

but those bastards sent the ghetto bird after me

Holy shit!

It looked like this...

As you can see, I was able to escape...

but my Splash-Mountain-esque getaway

was not as exciting as it appears on tape.

My adrenaline was pumping like crazy!

Somewhere along the chase

my stomach fell behind.

And now it 's catching up with me...

look at me now. full on the run.

i can't stop myself from crashing.

breaking grass, bumming a yard.

fixing stuff that was never broken.

pulling out all the stops.

I'm gonna puke on the cops!

i'm telling the kids, punk rocks.

i'm gonna puke on cops.

gimme a side of airplane noise

or half a glass of our resistance.

add a dash of disobedient

public nuisance, richtor riot.

pulling out all the stops.

I'm gonna puke on the cops!

i'm telling the kids, punk rocks.

I'm gonna puke on cops.

- "Puke on Cops" from 44 or 45 Songs...